Not sure if I'll send out any notices. Only 4 people now on the list. One I can contact on FB if I remember her new sign in. My memory is getting worse about names. People I've known for years I struggle to pull up their name. I remember Old Hat but to get him on FB I have to remember his name as James.

Things are getting tougher here even for me. I struggle to swallow my Janument and this morning it felt like it was caught and apparently it was. By the time I got it back it came with bright blood and what looked like an old clot perhaps as I had not eaten anything brown. Sorry I'm gross. I need to fire off a note to my primary about a substitute perhaps. I have a phone meeting this week with the gastro NP but I'm afraid to continue trying to get those hard caps down and I take them twice a day. I've had a problem swallowing for some time. My last exam they found thrush in my throat.

Wil has it days, or should I say his nights. Sundowners he starts rearranging things and walking around. 3 days I couldn't find Missy's bowl and I knew it had food in it as I set it up under the can with food to keep Mr. Grey from eating it. But it was gone, looked every where. Found it by opening a decorative tin holding keys. It still had the food in it. I've also lost my handicap placard and I remember laying it by my purse since it wouldn't fit in the purse. We went out for our COVID annual booster right after. If he threw it in the trash I don't know why he would have. To get another would not be easy.  I don't drive much any more and most handicap spaces are taken any way. Our church has a program to help us old folks.  Our bus company requires at least 7 page application some of which the doctor would have to fill and that is for one person.  So if we have an appt. for both that won't work. No I have not tried Uber. They aren't cheap and you can't schedule both trips at one time so we would be sitting around waiting for another driver to take us home.

A friend came in to help look for the placard and parted with it isn't safe for us here as I hadn't lined up someone to clean my floors. That's her way to say we should be in assisted living. So until I found out if Evelyn was coming back I killed myself trying to sweep and mop the kitchen, long hallway and dinning room. That was dumb of me.  Evelyn had gone to Mexico to see her sister who has bone cancer and it drained her. But Nadia said she would fill in.  Why I let Kate get to me I don't know. She is a lovely lady, a tad bossy and a retired Hospice Nurse. She says I have fallen more than anyone else she knows. I have fallen 4 times this year and the last I was squatting at the cat bowl when I went backward. 4 times is not a lot in a year.

Time to get Wil up for shower/shave.

Another year is slipping by. Hit 84 this month. In January Wil hits 86, we just had our 63rd wedding anniv. this month. Nothing special this year. Our 50th was the last cake with daughter. I'm almost tempted this year to put up the big tree even if I don't put any decorations on it. I miss the lights. I suppose Missy cat would try to eat them.  Pretty sure she would go after ornaments.

 Here she is in one of her favorite spots.  She comes up on the arm of the recliner long enough for me to pet her a tiny bit, she will turn around and come right up to my face and take off. She's still a little feral. My friend came to help get her to the vet and she went wild and scratched her.

Mr.Grey I got in the carrier by tossing treats in it for a couple weeks. We didn't know what he would do when he got there so vet took him to another room, he was fine. Still weighs 11 lbs and a few oz less than first time there.

Can't remember when I got them, to lazy to get up and go look at their records. Lost my external drive that had all their pictures. They mean a lot to me and I no longer feed him on the floor as about a week ago I was squatting and fell backwards down the hall. A nasty bruise. I finally went to urgent care up the street with Wil in tow and they insisted I go to ER . I had an abnormal EKG which turned out to be a normal abnormal for someone my age. sigh..

Wil's dementia has gotten worse but we've been doing fine until last night at bedtime. He became belligerent and I argued with him, I wanted to go to bed. Unfortunately I told him he didn't like it here I could put him in a nursing home. I regret that hopefully he forgot it.

This morning I fired off a note to the doctor and this afternoon his tech called a prescription was going in and it is more expensive so I may have to pay for it. Now I'm more afraid I don't want to introduce side effects.  I haven't heard from the pharmacy.

I forgot how to make the degree symbol. Along with a whole bunch of other things I have forgotten.

I wish I could find a room darkening shade like we have in all the bedrooms. One problem is knowing how to measure it. In one room Wil had to put in some wooden blocks to mount that one. I want it for the Livingroom. (computer wanted that word with a capital)  Have a cheap thing Juan nailed up for me but I need something to pull almost all the way down in the heat of the day. No curtains now, can't wash them and cats wouldn't leave them alone any way.

Had carpal tunnel surgery on my right arm.  In 2012 both wrists were done. I guess due to diabetes they are back. The tingling in thumb and index finger has not gone away. If it hasn't by Nov. I don't know if I'll do the other wrist. He ran into so much scar tissue he had to cut into my palm. Until stitches removed I washed dishes one handed. I do have rubber gloves but didn't want to chance getting water in them.

Getting cramps so don't know if I will get to stay here.

Not much changes around here. One day I pulled on a diaper to go to the Credit Union and it was a good thing I did. That ended my plans, car didn't get washed until the next day.

While at the doctors Thursday I got the call the headstones were delivered. Now next week I will try to find out when they are going to 'plant' them. 2 yrs since Carissa died and the little thing I bought from Amazon to put on her grave completely bleached out.  I went to the funeral home behind us to order both of them as I was getting no where with Mission.

The end of this month we have to drive to the probate attorney again so he can ask Wil if it is ok to redo our Wills. The lady who was to be the executor has just plain disappeared. Jim from our church has agreed. The church will get everything when we are gone. I have to get the new durable power of attorney so I can have an application ready for the VA facility for Wil  should I go first.  I pray I am the last to go.

I packed up all the stamp collection that he doesn't care about and sent all but one box to Old Hats wife in Flint TX. I still have one to send as I misunderstood him and thought he had ordered it for her. He apologized as he hadn't been to alert for awhile when he was sick. I've known him for years. He used to have a blog.

I'm packing up my journal that I printed out years ago and Sandy will get that box if she still wants it. Cary wanted Carissa's picture but finally decided it won't fit in his house. He tried to get it in his car but it would not fit. I told him I knew someone with a truck then I learned he didn't want it.

While talking to our primary about an estate sale he told me unless you have a lot of expensive stuff no one will do it. He had to put his 99 yr. mother in law in assisted living. He said she would be really upset to know what went to Good Will.   So I'm packing up stuff for Disabled Vets one of these days.

You can always find me on FB if you go there. Otherwise I'll be floating around the Paint Shop Pro groups but more often than not I'm chasing Missy cat out of here as she wants to scratch on my chair.  She's has learned the logs out by the kitchen are OK to use but as a past feral anything she wants to put her claws in seems to be it.

I also am spending time trying to get a marker on Carissa's grave and a communal one on ours. When I'm gone their will be no one to do it. I bought a garden type wrought iron stake after giving up on Carissa's 2 yrs ago and discovered TX sun wiped out everything on it!  Last week I drove to the mortuary behind us, ordered and paid for markers. Now I have paperwork to do down at the funeral home that has been content to just bury the kids.  There was something kind of funny last week, I called to ask for the exact number location ours are and was told she couldn't tell me that as I wasn't dead yet.  I heard her correctly!  Then Friday I got hold of the proper person and she said she'd get it straightened out when she called Nina Monday. It's now Wednesday, again no one has called me back.

Adding to all this horror, the lady signed on our Will's as executor has disappeared! Even if I could find her I want her replaced! I must see to all of this before something happens to me.

Otherwise Mary Wil and I are fine. I need to send you our phone number through email.

I can't believe I haven't written since Feb. It's a wonder I have anyone that visits. If I'm not busy I don't feel I have much of interest to write about. I started this entry this morning. I just now helped Wil get to bed at 9 pm.

 This is what I started to write about and got sidetracked...all day it seems.

These are Wil's very expensive hearing aids I found in the bathroom trash Monday. Of course I spent about an hour looking for them and crying. We just got them and I've worked hard to get them in and keep them in all day.

The audiologist was less than helpful and never mentioned the on off feature. I read the manual but figured it out because I wear aids by the same company. The little switch on his is more difficult than mine. I was showed where the filter is on his and in fact he showed me mine. Which Costco never bothered with as we are told to come back about a month and they would do it.

His audiologist was so proud of the smart charger, plop them in and simply take them out and put them in. As near as I can figure they come out on. Well his chattered I call it so I had to find the off and on. Plus when I put them in his ear he said it hurt. I think he is just touchy about his ears.

You can't just call for advice you have to make an appt. His isn't until the 20th. Do I recharge them and hope they don't make noise that will make him throw them away again?  One of the big disadvantages of not wearing them is not in getting use to them. He also complained the TV was too loud and would hold his ears and leave the room. I don't think they were set right. Or is the dementia making him extra sensitive?

Evelyn that does his shower/shave twice a week says he has gotten sensitive when she cleans between his toes. That is new. She says he is touchy about water on his face now. Something I will ask our primary about when we see him the 21st. If I remember, so I best start a list.

Our bluebonnets this year has been my bright spot. There aren't as many in the usual area by the mail box. Apparently last year their seeds got blown hither and yon. The neighbors are enjoying the ones in their spot. The yard man will be happy when they go to seed as they have to mow around them in the main yard along the edge and the ones they spot popped up out a bit. I let them weedwack by my car as I can't step over to get in the car the few times I go any where. At present I have to get a ride out of the neighborhood. Two reasons, diabetic neuropathy in feet and the car will stall on me at lights. I don't think it is idling right and can't figure out how I would take it to the dealer as I can't leave Wil alone. Not sure how he would react at the dealers for a long wait to get it taken care of. Plus they won't accept checks any more and I don't put large amounts on a credit card for it. And I know it would be a large amount. Car is 11 yrs. old I think.

You would be proud I got our taxes done this year without having to leave the house. Plus the IRS paid because I closed Carissa's Fidelity account without having them do it. So next tax season I may not get anything back but they still owe me on Carissa's account. Probably won't see that either. Yes I filled out a form and sent it certified mail but nothing has shown up. When she died I paid what she owed them after she had taken money from her 401 when she lost her job. Maybe they are searching her record. I know I didn't have to pay hers but they owe me now. lol

Time for me to wrap up the day. Wonder if I remember how to send this?

A new month that doesn't look any greater than last month. lol  I thought I'd get buy without anything medical but my dentures are driving me nuts. My dentist isn't in every day, think he is getting ready to retire. I can't say I have a lot of confidence in him after he made my plate worse. I can't wear it and eat unless I've a fixative that by nigh time usually has pretty much given up. Where does it go for Pete's sake? I still have to scrub some out at bed time.

So what did I do yesterday? Called my friend Keith for a recommendation on a dentist. A few years ago he had extensive work done when cancer settled in his jaw. I've an appt. for tomorrow and have not heard from respite care so Wil is going to have to go along. I know it is not going to be cheap but I want a new denture made, I'm not interested in lining it, paying for that and then still having to have a new denture.

The other fun news my external drive gave out and I have no idea my password. Tim managed to find when in 2016 I installed it and the clue was 'parent' but it didn't recognize either parents name. I told him if he could erase it to do so and junk it. Not going to mess with such a drive again. This is the second one to give up. If I'm remembering correctly of course.  I'll just have to hope I have enough room on my hard drive. Should be dumping a lot of stuff there any way. Like all the sky photo's.   I've already made new folders for the utility and credit card bills paid.

This month Wil has an appt. with the audiology dr. I don't know if they can do an ear test on him now. I hope I can get him some new hearing aids like my over the ear type. But that doesn't mean he will let me put them in. He won't let me try to get his one in let alone his right ear. I just wish they could test him the same day as that will mean finding a ride again.

The last two nights he has been going to bed way early. I don't try and dissuade him. He sleeps all night as a rule. Couple bathroom trips sometimes. He's probably sleeping right now, I turned to a program he might watch but didn't turn the volume up for him. I should ask if he wants to go out and walk a little with me but it is pretty windy. I'd have to put slacks back on. To get to 80 tomorrow.  He went out yesterday and filled bird baths in the back yard.  Last night I found him walking around patting things. He'd lost his change purse. He left it under his pillow when he got up so he went all day without it. I gave it to him and he said he had others too. He doesn't. That seemed to be all he needed was the one though. Thank heavens!

I don't bother to show him my colorings any more. I don't think he is seeing well at all and I try to keep his glasses clean.

I didn't order pudding cups this time as he will eat more than 1 and I want to see if giving him a pop tart now and again he won't go looking for something to eat. He often doesn't remember he ate. I still think boredom at night has a lot to do with his wanting something to eat. One day he had 3 hotdogs, 2 puddings , a little choc thing and a cup of coffee. Very shortly after he was out looking for something to eat. Price of food makes it hard.

An up side for me is how little Missy is accepting me more and sometimes she is asleep here on the bookcase or the chair while I'm online. If she is awake I get to either spin the chair so she can't scratch the back or get up and follow her to her bowl. They both now are getting clever about not eating the less expensive dry food. drat...

Sunday a friend will pick me up, Tony and Lydia will stay with Wil while I go to church to cast my ballot on disenfranchising form the Methodist church. I hate this but since so many have taken over the clergy and churches and no longer abide by the book of discipline so many want to break away. I was raised a Methodist even before it became the United Methodist.

Like Spring outside, bit windy but nice. Left Wil to fill 2 bird baths and I suppose I will have to go see what he is doing now. Had a heck of a time convincing him which pair of his shoes were the old ones. Easy with Velcro straps as the new ones are still clean.

Got him scheduled to see if he can get new hearing aids, and ones that go over the ear like mine. Don't know if we can succeed but will try 21 Feb with Audiology appt. I got the old aid in his right ear yesterday but not today. He developed an infection in that ear last month I didn't know about until I managed to get him in and they pulled out tons of wax. This is the ear he had surgery in years ago.

Next week I have a neck MRI and right shoulder X ray. I'm sure they will find plenty of arthritis, got that bad in my right hand I think. One knuckle I've managed to hit so many times and by the end of the day I get lotion that I bought for my back, and put it on that hand.

Then I have to spend 2 hrs. Wednesday getting iron infusion. I'm anemic again and she also wants me to have a colonoscopy. But if bleeds are usually in the small intestine how will they know as a colon exam doesn't go that far. If you figured I don't want it right you are.  Years ago I even swallowed a camera and they found nothing. I see her again in April so I best have my mind made up by then.

Back door opened according to the Brinks pad. Figured Wil came in, then again it alerted I best go see. He's in but he has a bad habit of opening that door. Time for me to lock it and take the key out of the dead bolt.  Instead I made him a bagel.

I saw Missy but hope Mr. Grey is sleeping in his penthouse.

Start the new year missing my original wedding band. If it dropped on the floor it isn't in that room. I moved both file cabinets and the cupboard holding prescriptions. I used a tooth brush and knife on the track of closet doors as well. Evelyn insisted she would come back tomorrow and help look. I forgot Vikki is to come back tomorrow and help me put Christmas stuff away. I still have the engagement ring and can't believe if Missy saw it she would of picked it up. That would mean search garage which will require a flashlight and broom.

Great now the front door open. Can't set at the computer any more unless he is in bed.

I can't believe I've written nothing since Thanksgiving. If ever you wonder where I am just go to my FB page. I was going to give the link and for some reason it shows facebook.com instead of the url.

My life is revolving around ear appointments for Wil, he got an infection and never indicated pain,. Of course the VA doesn't make it easy to get seen, has to go let a nurse look in the ear and send a consult. Then wait. Add to his appt. I have been referred to a hematologist at TX Oncology due to anemia. Last bout of that years ago they did the iron IV's and I've been fine. Now my primary wants them to see what they can find. Years ago gastroentologist could find nothing, even after I swallowed a camera. I told her it runs in my family, mom, sister, daughter. This week I am scheduled for labs at 8:30 and Ultra Sound 9:15 and I have to drag Wil along as I have no one to stay with him.

Currently I get 2 respite a month and I've done 1 and scheduled one for the 30th. I am not driving other than quick run for prescription cat food and medicine. That means I have to find a driver as well. I asked if they could let Evelyn come for respite instead of shweer/shave one day. No was the answer.

Our church has set up a group to drive seniors and of course they don't have enough drivers so I've no idea how long that is going to last. It has been suggested I take Uber but that will become a waiting experience plus at least $15 one way. Taxi's are way out of cost here. I've no neighbors as they all work.

Last week pain management ordered an Xray on my right shoulder and an MRI on my neck. Perhaps I can luck out and get them the same day in January. Oh wait, must check follow up date for results sometime in Jan. I will have to get the VA to give him more respite days and I don't see them with him until January. If only I could trust my feet and car. I can't even get it into the dealer as they no longer give rides home. I've had it in the garage up the street but they can't find why it stalls, long waits. They think a vacuum leak but they can't find it.

A friend came and helped me get Nativity scenes in the barrister bookcase, out of Missy's reach. Then she put things on the top shelf in my coloring room and Scott's tree on a taller cabinet there and dad's wooden tree with Carissa's ornaments on it on top of the file cabinet. Last week I found a string of small lights and draped them in front of the tv. Oh and I put some of the silver balls in a bowl on the table, so far so good. I taped a table cloth, plastic, there so no edges would hang for cats to play behind. Mr.Grey never bothered table cloths or curtains until Missy joined our house.  Right now she is laying on the chair beside me so she is really getting comfortable around me. Both run for the garage when someone comes to the door.

Vikki made stuffed peppers for Wil (and I) one day and Millie brought in meals she made before she leaves at Christmas. She also brought us something after Thanksgiving and she is a wonderful cook and I love her cranberries. Wil even ate some cause I didn't tell him what they were. She brought homemade cranberry salsa last week. He ate it one time but didn't yesterday. That's the way he is, eat something once but not the next time. He opened a choc pudding and put it back in the refrigerator and refused to finish it. A day later I put it in a cup and handed it to him with his lunch, he ate it.

Tony and Lydia no longer come over or call since they became Grandparents. I need to change her from contact forms. But then who would I use? Church friends are busy or on vacation.

Got a laugh last week, a check came into the estate of Carissa...$4.00 need to find it now to get it in the account. Insurance she saved not driving. Strange..

Also sister Pat's account settled and checks to brother Mike and I. That's in Savings now.

I bought some banana bread and an apple pie for tomorrow. If I feel OK I will bake the last pieces of fish for lunch.  I was doing pretty good this morning until I decided to sit back down and pedal as I missed 2 wks. Mistake.

Missy is sitting on the windowsill listening to the Ocean sound cd I have in. She doesn't know what to make of it, at least she isn't walking across the top of the desk yet. Imagine she spent some time watching squirrels out the window as I bought some squirrel food since I can't get to the feed store for corn cobs to hang. All the little birds were back too and I saw a couple doves. I so miss feeding birds but we still have stray cats running around. In fact yesterday Wil spotted a big one I've never seen, tiger with a white chest. Have some squirrel food back on that table but don't think anyone has found it.

Our city has decided to switch solid waste routes. Of course the new drivers apparently don't know I have handicap permission to come on my property to get my bins. One day last week I chased a driver down as I hobbled along with my cane causing severe pain in my back and legs. He was a relief driver as ours was behind. When he got to our bin it was empty!  Betting the guy that picked up our green barrel threw the trash in with it, a big no no.

Another day at 5 pm I went out and got my mail as I had a check in it and the mail person had not been around. As I sat an ate I saw the truck going down the neighbor's street, grabbed my cane and my letter and waited for her to arrive. I'm to old for this stuff.

After the holiday I have to check with Pacific Life to see if they got the mail I returned to them to get Wil's retirement deposited in our checking account. I wrote down the date I sent it but forgot to write how I proved our old account since I shredded all the checks after we closed the account. I've just got to start writing things down, at 83 some of my tacks aren't so sharp any more.

Wil came back here a couple days when I had music cd's and sat and listened, even tapping his toe some. Today I found he was in my closet, apparently looking for his slippers and not only had he dragged my slippers out he took ONE of my shoes and put it all under the chair. Then he found his slippers and housecoat and waited for Evelyn while he had breakfast.  I wish he would stumble across Carissa's purse I can't find.

No other news, we just truck along. Thanks for visiting.

Last week that happened. I didn't know what to do, if I ever did obviously I forgot, just turn the computer OFF! No I called the listed number spent hours watching them control my system and explain what they were looking for and one screen even showed the IP's trying to get in! Russia popped up a couple times. I ended up signing a contract I have no copy of, writing a check for 2 yrs. service from them at $299.

Once I gave their url to Hairy she immediately let me know stop payment on the check a scam. (she's in Australia no less) Did that online and next day grabbed Wil and headed to the Credit Union around 10 a.m. to close the checking account and as the Saving acct. number close it was also closed. A frantic email went to my computer guy. In a couple days he came and picked up my computer! A day later he called to let me know what they did was fake! 

I sat at home Sunday shredding two batches of checks as I had accidently over ordered. Then I started working on the utility auto pays.  Just today I finished those. Or think I got them all. Early Thursday I had called the folks with Wil's retirement pay and got necessary cover sheet with the form in to them.  I now have to get our doctor to make a diagnosis on him and with that and the power of attorney send that off so I can officially handle that account. Next came retirement from Sea World and they have to send their form.  Today I talked to the VA for his disability and had to get him up to tell the woman it was OK for me to handle it. That's done.  On to Social Security and she told me how to handle that online which I did for him, not mine yet.  It will be next year before his money will flow back into the new account at the credit union.  Thankfully we have enough money right now for groceries.

I have never felt so stupid but everyone I have talked to has assured me I'm not alone. These scammers are in Florida and when done should I let FL atty general know?  Nah when I'm done I'm done.

4:30 and now it is time to decide what to do for supper. Sandwiches. Putting off groceries until after tomorrow's doctor visit.  Then without having to find someone to drive us or me for awhile. I did drive to PetSmart for that expensive cat food.  See another company has some, put in a call to vet haven't heard back yet.