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| Just a check in for an update and to thank everyone.
Right now it is 7:37 a.m. and Kahinah is here in my office. We had no where else to put her. Wil is going to have to remove my knick knack shelf behind her cage, it is wood. We know parrots and wood. Not good as it is painted wood.
She just flew down on the back of my chair. She's eyeing the cd rack on the desk. (oh no) Ceilings in our home are much lower, if she flies up she can sit on the dusty fan. 
So far we haven't found the name of the man that was to take her if anything happened. I will call son's vet today just in case they might now. Plus I need them to mail her records.
Wil just came and told me the washer had something wrong. I knew right away, off balance. I had him stand in here as I didn't want her taking off down the hall in search of me.
Now we have to get someone up there to take his fish. I will check with the pets mart and humane society if I have no luck with them.
I'm having to guard myself in crying in here because she learned the sound of the smoke detector in need of batteries and son wasn't alive to fix it apparently.
I learned yesterday from his co-worker his bronchitis (that he never admitted to me) was diagnosed to pnemonia (sorry about the spelling) Didn't know that either and he went right on working. He was to see a pulmonary specialist next month. But we await word from the Medical Examiner.
Tomorrow we will go make funeral arrangements for him.
I need to go eat. I haven't been so that meant no diabetes meds and now my sugar is back up. I must take care of myself too.
Again I thank each and everyone of you and ask for continued prayers.
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| I think I have the lock removed. Our life is in crisis right now. Our son was found dead at his home. Daughter is with me right now, Wil is at son's home. Please pray for us, I'm not to stable right now.
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|  Each day I want to try and do something 'artistic'. This was today's effort, following what I thought was a simple tutorial.
The big circle I did and when I applied a cut out step I lost the white color. Had to pinch hit that one. Drawing ears another pinch hit. Writer didn't say how to fill them so I had to brush the white in. I couldn't get the right ear like the left so another pinch hit with duplicate and move it.
Sun came out here so I got my mile walk while Wil took a 'care' box off for mom. He isn't back yet. He wanted to wait until I did my walk and I told him to go on as once he leaves I'll be lucky if I see him in two hours. lol
Chandler has eaten something that went straight through him. Once again we have to block our bedroom door as he has decided the bed is his litter box. He never did that until after Charlie died. It's been a real long time since he did that but it started up again yesterday. So while laundry was not on my agenda it soon became such. Fortunately we can open windows today.
So now I am off to read my library book. I am not getting any phone calls from family back on the East coast. Sure would be nice to know what is going on with the farm since they don't want any financial help from me. I learned from the hygienist here what personal care homes cost here, so the piddling little I could send just wouldn't be of any help at all I guess. Would of been nice to get a return call at least. But I have to remember these are the people that told me the doctor's told them mom would be best in her own comfort zone on one day, and a couple days later she was in a personal care home. Hmmm.
Isn't there some saying "blood is thicker than water?" What does that mean anyway? 
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| All night I have been thinking about this blog and whether to keep it. Everyone is entitled to their feelings and thoughts but maybe I should not be so forthcoming with mine. I hate reading blogs that use only initials and I'm supposed to figure what or who they are referring too. Obviously it is done to protect people's identity, but none of you know the persons to which I am related too. Plus I have voiced my concerns to family members all along. It shouldn't be a surprise if they pop in here or if someone else tells them what I said.
I have consistently expected honesty but that doesn't mean I am going to get it. It doesn't mean I am going to get anything at all now. But what it boils down to is perception. (the ability to understand what I am saying or even trying to say). If you don't understand what I am saying, ask for Pete's sake! If I hurt your feelings tell me how I did it. I would never hurt anyone's feelings on purpose.
example: when I said there was a struggle to get mom's cane from her I was reacting to what P. told me happened. I am NOT saying mom was hurt in the process, nor did I imply they didn't know what they were doing. I have had experience with the strength of an elder and as a young nurses aide I even ended up on the floor while releasing an elder from wrist restraints on another occasion. (in that time I had to learn on the job)
My use of a term for a sibling simply means the era in which she grew up. It is not meant to be derogatory. In fact I even told her years ago I use it. She didn't remember calling my husband a 'war monger' at that time and was aghast she had.
My thoughts tend to flit about and sometimes I am probably hard to follow. Most everyone has my email if they don't wish to comment at the blog. Some even have my phone number.
For years I have been accused of wearing my feelings on my sleeve. I know I get hurt easily but some seem to be totally unaware that I indeed do have feelings and they don't hesitate to come down on me. Sometimes justified, other times not.
I do my best to forgive as the Bible teaches. It would be nice if others did as well.
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True
Lifetime
But some days you just need a good rant.
