April 17, 2021
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Heavy heart
Yesterday afternoon. I only told a couple people as I needed an alone time and I think Wil did too. Pastor David drove us down in my car.
Funeral director gave me back her necklace, and I don't remember asking for it. I'm forgetting a lot lately and Wil finally found my car keys but doesn't remember where. He was sitting at his desk and I had checked every desk drawer. I still can't find the envelope from her car with insurance information in it. We still don't have the death certificate, I have a tentative probate appointment May 11th. I asked my doctor for help after I yelled at a guy at the funeral home yesterday and continue to cry when I didn't need to. I can't let Wil seeing me cry. It doesn't help him.
Comments (13)
Sometimes we can't find the right words to say at time like this. I want you to know, my thoughts and prayers are with you and Your husband.
Aja he likes to cut up things into small bits of paper. Or he sticks them in his desk drawer that he rearranges a lot. I look in all of them.
That doesn't mean a lot as I didn't see my car keys but he came up with them.
You might have to start checking your trash daily. My BIL had dementia (not saying that Wil is the same) and my sister said he threw away mail, remotes and even some of her jewelry. Even now a year after he died she discovers things are missing.
You have so much emotionally to deal with I hope you have someone that you can talk to and cry with.
I don't know you personally but I can still pray for you and Wil. God Bless.
Such sad sad news, my prayers are with you. Having to deal with this on your own is beyound gut renching. Your mind an memory are gonna be worse at this time. There's still things I can't remember when I lost my son, it's like your memory developes a block and no matter how hard you try you'll misplace or forget things. Eventually it should turn up. Bonnie you have been through more in the last few years than most people do in a life time. Know that you have touched many lives with your journal and though we may never meet you are a dear friend that I wish I could hug right now. Sending prayers xo
Your plastic bin sound perfect for gathering important papers & little items, Bonnie. We of the blogging community, who have come to consider you dear, hurt for you.
As my own, dear husband is also slipping, mentally, I understand your comment about how troubling it is when your own memory misplaces information.
With the increasing incidence of Alzheimer's, we caretakers are becoming legion.
Love and hugs to you!
sue I didn't have anything at that time, now I have rectangular plastic basket type things.
Bless you Bonnie! It may help to have a small/medium storage tote to drop all important papers in as you go through them and as you need to reference them in the future. That's what helped me. Just a thought. Again,I am so sorry that you have to handle this on your own.
Rosemary I'm learning to do it silently so he doesn't hear me.
My heart aches for you Bonnie. The loss of your daughter and unfortunately with Wil’s mind going you are doing this on your own. I agree, you need to cry, bathroom and turn the shower on and let some of the grief out. Thoughts are with you.
@murisopsis: crying will be out of house. Today he does not know who was buried yesterday. I guess his brain is forgetting her.
Dear Bonnie please give yourself permission to cry - even if you have to lock yourself in the bathroom. The release if the pain and grief is good and necessary... The paperwork will turn up in time. Hugs and prayers for you both.
The car is Carissa's car and it was in the glove box and we had it out reading it. I moved it out of Wil's sight on the kitchen table and put it where her car keys were. If I moved it I don't know where and he if he moved it I haven't found it. I've gone through all drawers in the house.
I understand your grief, Bonnie and I imagine your dismay at the administrative papers to provide or find.
Speaking of car insurance, is it your car or Carissa's? Sometimes drivers put their insurance cards in the glove box or behind the sun visor.
I think of you, Bonnie
Love
Michel
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